My tatties are swelling.

I was really excited when I got dressed yesterday morning and my bra wasn't fitting right. Finally! My boobs are growing. Shit.. so is everything else.

I'm not really sure what happened. I mean, it's almost the end of our term, and finals are right around the corner.. I guess I've probably been eating more. But I feel like my whole body is swelling! I think I've gone out for drinks every night for the past week. Maybe that has to do with it? You know how celery has "negative calories" because your body uses more calories to digest it than the food has? WOW... if they made an alcoholic beverage that had "negative calories".. maybe I should scout out a science genius and patent that shit. Then, and only then, maybe my tatties would stop swelling.

Beyond that, sex with Brad has been amazing lately. He even woke me up to tango-mango the other morning by sweet kissing all over my neck... that never happens. Is it shallow that the improved sex life has drastically improved my outlook on our relationship? The media and society try to make it seem like it's bad for women to be into sex. I LOVE SEX... and it is a huge part of who I am. I think about sex every 5 seconds (beat that OTown). I could contort myself into a pretzel many, many times a day and never tire of being kneaded, baked, and eaten. (OH man I think I just made myself horny)

Also.. if you didn't get my OTown reference.. either think back to 5th grade OR look up their song "Every Six Seconds"

Love, Lacey

I need to get a background check...

Lacey! Why did you have to be MIA last night?! What were you and Bradley doing... shopping for wedding dresses and picking out baby names? I totally needed a wing-girl. I went out with the boys and that always = trouble.

So I took like 7 shots of Captain Mos before I left the boys house! We kept walking around the bars, putting up our knees and going "we've got a lot of Captain in us." After a few more drinks I heard Timbaland coaxing me to the dance floor. So I'm tearing it up, doing my best Scherzinger, when Jeremy comes up to dance. Holler! (He totally stopped dancing with Kelli (?) to dance with me.) And omg, he can dance! We pretty much had sex right on the dance floor. I'm telling you, we move so well together, you know it'll be good when we do the mattress mambo.

So I break up our grind fest 2007 to go to the bathroom. While I'm standing in there some curly blonde, terracotta colored girl comes up to me and is like "are you and Jeremy dating?" And I'm like "Uh, no. We're just friends." And she goes "Good. Because he and Kelli have been hanging out for awhile now." And I'm just like "uh Ok, and are you dating your tanning bed?" She storms off and later I see her and Kelli watching my and Jeremy's every move.

BUT get this. Those freakin bitches. Ugh. As the bar is closing we're all standing outside: the boys, me, Linds, Darren, Jeremy and all their crew, and Kelli and terracotta. Kelli and terracotta literally ambush Jeremy and so he rides home with them!

Then today I'm facebook stalking all of them, and it turns out Terracotta is Kelli's roommate. And Kelli makes some totally lame comment on J's wall like "how did the movie end? I might have dozed off...haha." What the hell?!? Did they spend the night together?! I mean I had a feeling they've been kinda hooking up or something... but I don't know! I asked Lindsey to try and get some dirt on J from Darren. You know, the usual background info... "who has he dated.. is he hooking up with anyone... is he feeling me." etc etc.

He really shouldn't waste his time on her. Should I waste my time on him?

Sex addict anonymous.....?

So I woke up this morning to the sound of my roommate and her boyfriend getting it on. I thought I heard some moans and sexy squirty noises... so, Sherlock Lacey put her ear to the wall and yep, they were definitely doin' the nasty! Is it bad that it made me a little horny? OK -- not the thought of my roommate, or her boyfriend, but just sex. I have a thing with sex.. sometimes I wonder if I'm addicted.

One of our other roommates put HBO on our cable roster... $7.99 a month for a bunch of awesome movies - great deal, right? Yes! But what makes it an even better deal are the "late night specials." Have you ever seen Cathouse? It's this scrumptious show about a brothel in Reno... legal prostitution! These ridiculous characters market and sell their tatties, vajayjays, and basically every other oriface on their body to these disgusting, fat, hairy patrons.

There was an episode last week... where a mom brought her 22 year old son to the Cathouse. She wanted her nerdy, virgin son to get de-flowered by these presumably STD-queens. Ok, maybe I'm a little traditional, but is that weird? haha. YES! It would probably have been cheaper to buy her son a bar of soap, etiquette coach, and a clean t-shirt. Teach a man to fish, right?

My friend Maria always gives me crap for watching the raunchy shows. She's a super-straight line Catholic, and even though she tries not to be judgemental (she's a sweetheart), it always comes across that way because sometimes she just doesn't get it. Sometimes I want to tie her down and just flop a weiner in her face and tell her to love it! That girl is missing out!

Okay, well I want to tell you more about the Cathouse, but no time... new episode!! :) Just kidding.. I need to go work my love handles off at the gym. But seriously, check that ish out! It's awesome!

Love you!
Lace

Freakin!

Sooo I didn't realize we were doing introductions, but since Lacey did I guess I can give you an idea about myself.

I'm a senior in college, 21 years old, turning 22 soon... which makes me feel like I'm turning 90. I wish I could be 21 forever... hence why I shop at Forever 21 too much for my own good. I bargain shop, but I splurge on shoes. I love Aldo and Guess and BCBG and Converse and I could go on forever! I'm really school smart (I'm a perfectionist to a fault), but not so smart when it comes to boys. BUT I'm trying to change that! Lately I've just been dating people, and been set up a couple times, but the guys have been lame and have been way too easy to get. You know what I mean? It's stupid, but I like the unattainable. So I have my eyes set on my friend's boyfriend's friend Jeremy. He's kind of a player, but I'm determined to seduce him.

I study hard, work hard, work out hard and party harder. I love playing drinking games, and I love going out, shaking my booty and then blacking out. The next day people always say "I saw you out on the dance floor droppin it like it's hot!" When I'm drunk, I seem to think I'm Nicole Scherzinger (I love her) from the PCD. Embarrassing!

Ummm I dunno what else. I say "Freakin"... wayyy too freakin much. I'm trying to quite saying it so freakin much!!

Anddd I'm addicted to the internet. Myspace, Facebook, watching TV shows online because I never have time to sit down and watch them on TV, shopping, you name it. Hence, why Lacey and I started this blog rather than journalling!

Hope you enjoy! AND please comment... give advice... share stories... sometimes it's best to hear from someone removed from the drama. You know?

~Teresa

Hey girl HEYYY!!

Well, Resa beat me to the first blog post on our new blog! I'm so excited to get started blogging, we've been talking about getting this started forever!

College life has treated me pretty well, but I'm about ready to get out of here (countdown: June!). I've seen my fair share of friend drama, drunken nights, and all nighters. Did I mention that I LOVE boys? You'll probably hear a lot of penis talk from me... I'm a fan!

I suppose I should tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Lacey, I'm 21 years old, and a senior in college. I'm a high achiever and work hard in school, but I also LOVE to go crazy and have fun. All in moderation, right? :) I'm in a relationship right now with the guy of my dreams... but somehow I continually find ways to screw it up. It's been two years and I love Brad to death, but lately I've been getting that single bug... I don't know - it's so complicated. Well, I'll definitely have to come back and explain to you in more detail. I've been up for almost 48 hours and I need to go to bed!

I look forward to getting to know each other! :)

Love, Lacey

Lacey and Teresa talking juicy online... yay!

Lacey and I met freshman year of college in psych 101. We seriously had the most boring professor, so we would just gossip all through class. Eventually the stories got too juicy, so we'd skip class get coffee and spill the beans (no pun intended haha). We've grown super close... and the stories just keep getting juicier. We know all girls have similar experiences to ours and our friends, so we decided to share! <3 Teresa