My tatties are swelling.

I was really excited when I got dressed yesterday morning and my bra wasn't fitting right. Finally! My boobs are growing. Shit.. so is everything else.

I'm not really sure what happened. I mean, it's almost the end of our term, and finals are right around the corner.. I guess I've probably been eating more. But I feel like my whole body is swelling! I think I've gone out for drinks every night for the past week. Maybe that has to do with it? You know how celery has "negative calories" because your body uses more calories to digest it than the food has? WOW... if they made an alcoholic beverage that had "negative calories".. maybe I should scout out a science genius and patent that shit. Then, and only then, maybe my tatties would stop swelling.

Beyond that, sex with Brad has been amazing lately. He even woke me up to tango-mango the other morning by sweet kissing all over my neck... that never happens. Is it shallow that the improved sex life has drastically improved my outlook on our relationship? The media and society try to make it seem like it's bad for women to be into sex. I LOVE SEX... and it is a huge part of who I am. I think about sex every 5 seconds (beat that OTown). I could contort myself into a pretzel many, many times a day and never tire of being kneaded, baked, and eaten. (OH man I think I just made myself horny)

Also.. if you didn't get my OTown reference.. either think back to 5th grade OR look up their song "Every Six Seconds"

Love, Lacey

I need to get a background check...

Lacey! Why did you have to be MIA last night?! What were you and Bradley doing... shopping for wedding dresses and picking out baby names? I totally needed a wing-girl. I went out with the boys and that always = trouble.

So I took like 7 shots of Captain Mos before I left the boys house! We kept walking around the bars, putting up our knees and going "we've got a lot of Captain in us." After a few more drinks I heard Timbaland coaxing me to the dance floor. So I'm tearing it up, doing my best Scherzinger, when Jeremy comes up to dance. Holler! (He totally stopped dancing with Kelli (?) to dance with me.) And omg, he can dance! We pretty much had sex right on the dance floor. I'm telling you, we move so well together, you know it'll be good when we do the mattress mambo.

So I break up our grind fest 2007 to go to the bathroom. While I'm standing in there some curly blonde, terracotta colored girl comes up to me and is like "are you and Jeremy dating?" And I'm like "Uh, no. We're just friends." And she goes "Good. Because he and Kelli have been hanging out for awhile now." And I'm just like "uh Ok, and are you dating your tanning bed?" She storms off and later I see her and Kelli watching my and Jeremy's every move.

BUT get this. Those freakin bitches. Ugh. As the bar is closing we're all standing outside: the boys, me, Linds, Darren, Jeremy and all their crew, and Kelli and terracotta. Kelli and terracotta literally ambush Jeremy and so he rides home with them!

Then today I'm facebook stalking all of them, and it turns out Terracotta is Kelli's roommate. And Kelli makes some totally lame comment on J's wall like "how did the movie end? I might have dozed off...haha." What the hell?!? Did they spend the night together?! I mean I had a feeling they've been kinda hooking up or something... but I don't know! I asked Lindsey to try and get some dirt on J from Darren. You know, the usual background info... "who has he dated.. is he hooking up with anyone... is he feeling me." etc etc.

He really shouldn't waste his time on her. Should I waste my time on him?